The Plan

I have been pondering a thought for the last couple of days. "What happened to 'The Plan?'"
When my hubby and I got married, we had a plan. We were going to wait a year, before beginning to try for our family. But after that, we were good to go. Our first would be a girl named Elise. After that the other two could be what ever Heavenly Father sent, after of course, a 3 year wait between each child. Our children would be perfectly mannered. They would be polite, always well dressed, always clean, and they would respect our home and everything in it. I would never have to "baby proof" my house, because my children will just be taught that they cannot touch Mommy's things.

On Sunday, we went to my parents house for dinner with the rest of my siblings. Some how towards the end of the evening, my youngest brother and his wife (now expecting their 1st child) got on their "plan". I think it was because my brother is a bit stressed that this up coming child is in fact a girl. Not a boy to "carry on the family name". I think he said something like, what if I end up with all girls. Now to me, that was the most hilarious, yet selfish question I have ever heard. With five boys, I couldn't quite get behind any sympathy for his plight. I reminded him kindly that he did in fact have 2 nephews already to carry on the name, though I don't think that it is a concern that the family name will die out. But that wasn't his point. He wanted a boy to carry on "HIS" family name.

Whatever!!!!!

But before I knew it we were all laughing on the floor AT them. As he and his wife spelled out their "plan" for their family. I think each one of us explained the vast differences in our plans and our realities. Yet my sweet sister-in-laws comeback was, "I'm a very determined person". This again makes me laugh harder. I don't think determination determines how you have a family. I don't think determination prevents twins, and triplets. Or infertility after one successful pregnancy.

All I know is that when they placed my first SON in my arms that day, 5 years after we were married (not 2 like planned), I no longer wanted to wait the 3 years between kids, I wanted to have another one now. My plan, no longer seemed to matter. It was now no longer about me, it was about my family. It was about my children and what was best for them. Especially when I saw my twin boys for the first time, my perfect house went by the wayside, never to be seen again. And thats ok. I am ok with the mess, the dings in the walls, the hand prints that stain the hallway, the torn furniture, the dirty faces and the warn holy clothes that happen to be their favorites.
The fact that they were all one sex, and I didn't get any girls no longer matters, because it is not all about me. It is about them. It is about helping them to become everything that they can be in life. It is about helping them to find happiness, and hopefully providing some of that myself. It is about them.
One day, my house will be quiet, and clean again. I will be able to set out all of the breakables and find every pair of scissors. And I will be lonely and sad, and want all of that chaos back.

I hope that my brother and his wife, one day will look back and laugh at their "plan" like we all do. I hope that their children are happy and that one day they realize that it is not all about them.