Challenges

So, I've been struggling lately with the challenges that have been appearing, with the kids getting older.

This may not be a struggle for most Moms. But I'm really having a hard time.

My oldest son has now reached the milestone of becoming a teenager. I knew that this would bring on new and interesting phases in our family, but the biggest challenge has really tested what I've always seen as, some of the 'values' that I've used in raising these boys and possibly protecting them a bit from the world. I'm not sure that I want to sacrifice these 'values' but, I'm not necessarily sure that I need to continue to hold on to them so hard.

Even so, in saying all of this. Many Moms, even my family members and close friends, don't really see these things the same way as I do, and you may not either. So, in all of my ramblings, you may find yourself rolling your eyes at me...and feel free to do so. I know that I'm a bit over protective in certain areas, then strangely under-protective in others.

But here is my dilemma...

In our home, I have always felt VERY strongly about 2 things. My children are not allowed to play rated T or M video games. Even to the extent that if they are at a friends house and a game is pulled out that is T or M rated they are to come home. Second, we don't do 'friend' sleep over's. We have done sleep over's with cousins, but not with friends. Late nights are perfectly ok, even until 11pm or midnight. But when others go to bed, my kids come home.
I have many reasons that I feel this way, but truly it is to protect my children.

But at 13 my oldest son's closest cousins are all girls, and the sleep over options now are really not appropriate. So really, he has no opportunity to have sleep overs. And at this point his friends have been having a lot of them. He usually comes home early, not even wanting to take part in a late night, because he will feel too bad leaving at midnight. Then add on top of that that his friends all play rated T games, he again finds himself leaving their houses when they pull these games out to play (there are usually more than one of them together, so they don't care that he leaves).

The other night, he was in tears that he wasn't able to stay and play video games and stay the night with the other 3 boys who he has hung around with all summer. He was jealous that the other moms, let them do these things that I wouldn't let him do.

Years ago, I had made these decisions, with my "valid" reasons to do so, but as he is getting older, I'm wondering if my choices should still be the basis for his learning and growing. Is he now old enough to start making these decisions himself? Is he old enough that I don't have to stand by him and protect him from the horrible things of the world?

I was broken hearted the other night as I held him and tried to explain why I feel the way I feel. He said that he understood and supported my 'values', but it didn't make it any easier for him to know that all of his friends were having a grand old time without him.

I really cant decide what to do, and I don't think I can bare it if we have another night like this one.

So, I guess my struggle, is...Do I let my kids do things that I don't feel good about, to keep them happy? Or do I stand by the things that I feel are right even though it hurts my kids and they may end up resenting me later?

Again, I know that most of you are rolling your eyes at me thinking..."lighten up, Stace" I know, I know.... It's hard to even express why I feel so strongly about these things. But I do. So now, what to do?...