ChildHood...

I think in life there are certain childhood "wounds" that we all have to overcome in our adult life. Things that will continue to haunt us and memories that will come flooding back with no advance notice. A smell, a taste, a song. It is amazing to me how powerful these senses are and how they can even now transport me back to being a 5 year old. As a parent now, I know that my parents didn't set out on their voyage intending to send their children to therapy, and as I watch my own children now grow and reach adolescence I just know there are some things that I'm doing with/to them that will affect the way they think and how they deal with certain situations well into adulthood.

One of my "wounds" has to do with birthday cakes. It is irrational and weird, but here is my story...
My mother has many talents. Among many other things, she can sew, she can cook, and she can decorate cakes. She makes beautiful cakes. Growing up, I remember her and my Grandmother decorating wedding cakes, all of which I thought were amazing. She also made birthday cakes. I remember circus cakes, with animals and clowns all over them. I remember barbie doll cakes with real barbies in the middle. I remember mickey mouse, and donald duck and so many more I can't even mention them all. I loved those cakes. She had books of cakes that we could look through and pick out a cake that we would want made for our birthday. Then I remember watching as it would come together before my eyes. They looked so cool, and tasted even better. Then one day...(duh, duh, duh..) She came home with a STORE BOUGHT CAKE. -gasp, shock- I know. I couldn't imagine what that thing was doing in our house. Especially on my birthday. There was no 'picking out my cake' that year and no watching as she made the frosting. It was weird. She explained that she just didn't have time to make a cake that year, but this was just as good. Now, I think because of psychological trauma, I don't exactly remember what was on that cake. I just remember that it didn't taste right. There was something 'wrong' with it. It wasn't good.
Well, as I watched that year, all of the family got those horrible store bought cakes. It was a disaster. I couldn't imagine what had happened to make her think that this was an acceptable birthday cake. I know that she had gone back to work, and that all of us were getting older and everyone doing activities and lessons and so forth. Now I look at the situation as it was. My mom really didn't have the time or the energy to make a cake, and buying one was easier. But to me... It meant that my Mom just didn't love me anymore. I mean how could she if she was going to feed me that horrible imitation of a birthday cake on my most special day of the year. (my apologies to any of you who actually do like bakery cakes)
So, because of this psychological 'wound' I vowed that I would always make my kids their birthday cakes. And to this point I always have. I've made Mickey Mouse, batman, elmo, winnie the pooh, buzz lightyear, basketballs, baseball fields, soccer balls, clown cakes etc. And they have all tasted just like my Mom's cakes, because I stole her frosting recipe and use that every year.



In the past couple of years, the older boys have decided that they have a little bit more say in what their cakes look like, and have decided that part of the fun of a home made cake is doing it themselves.
I'm not terribly opposed to this. This has become one of their favorite things about their birthdays.
Eric and Josh celebrated their 11th Birthday yesterday, and because of this, a few days ago, I asked them what kind of cake they would like. Josh immediately spoke up. He wanted a bubble gum cake. So, I quizzed more. "gum like inside the cake?" .
"No, frost the cake, then write my name on the top with bubble gum."
We'll that's the easiest thing I've ever heard of in my life. Eric thought that sounded like a fantastic idea, so we were off. We hit target and found two containers of bubble gum and they each picked out a cake flavor that they wanted. Whoo Hoo, this is easy. But then, they bugged and bugged me about when "we" were going to make the cakes. They wanted it to be all them. They wanted to do all of the decorating. Again, I was ok with this. It's part of the fun of having a birthday. So, I whipped up some decorator frosting, they picked the colors and off they went.



These are their finished products. They are so funny. They had a great time decorating and eating bubble gum. I hope as they get older this isn't one of the 'wounds' I leave them with (I know that there will be many others that they have to overcome). I hope that they always look back at their birthday cakes as one of the highlights of their day. And I would love one day to pass on the frosting recipe to them for their children to make their very own, birthday creations.