Stress...

The older I get and as I experience more. I am finding that I DO NOT deal well with stress. I really seem to come completely apart. And really it doesn't make a lot of sense.

It has been a crappy week. There has been so much going on. My husband is changing jobs (which is always scary) and it was the semi-annual dentist check up for the kids. Really to look at all of this you wouldn't think -wow! what a stressful week. I know I wouldn't. But I think the job thing is really freaking me out and making other issues seem bigger. Now, to justify saying the dentist stressed me out, here is the story.

Just a typical check up. I do it every six months. But this time the 4 oldest boys all had bad news to report. TJ is the only one who didn't have a cavity. A had 2 cavities (one of which is a "genetic" hole in one of his molar. He has had 5 or 6 of these already. It is ridiculous). E had 2, J had 1 and C had 1 cavity, one previous filling that had broken resulting in that tooth now needing a crown, and 2 baby teeth that needed to be pulled. UGH! $400+ that I needed to come up with in a matter of days. So because of the job change and the fact that our current dental insurance is only good until the end of the day on Friday, we scheduled appointments. I took A and C on Tuesday afternoon, then A and E already had an orthodontist appointment that had been scheduled previously. And today E and J went to have their work done. I had to take both days of work this week off at the candy store, because Tues and thurs were the only days for appointments.

Anyway, with this story now told. I have to say, in a normal situation, sure I would be upset about all of the dental work that needed to be done. But I don't think that it would make my head feel like it was going to explode. Yet, that is how I feel. I can't focus, I have a terrible headache and really just want to curl up in a ball and cry. I really think it is all about the job change.

The hubs was offered a job with the company he used to work for...kind of. This company has recently declared bankruptcy, and sold to another company. It is the new company that called and offered him the job. So really, he will be working for a new employer but at the same time, it is much the same. Tonight, I had to drop him off at the new company to drop off some paper work, and so he could pick up his new company car, and I had a slight panic attack. It was weird. I really didn't see it coming, and I really thought that I was ok with him going 'back' there. But evidently, I'm not. You see, it took a LONG time for the hubs to actually gain the courage to leave this company, and it was really only the threat of the bankruptcy looming in the not so distant future, that finally forced him to put himself out there and try something new. He had really been through "battered wife syndrome" when he worked there. He really didn't feel like he was employable anywhere else. Luckily, he has since found out otherwise, but I am really freaked out about him going back into this.

Breath in...Breath out...Breath in...Breath out... I think I may go take a bubble bath with a tall glass of milk and some double stuffed oreos. Ya...I think that might just help.